To the tune of - The 12 Days of Christmas
On the first day of winter break
my children said to me:
We need a later bedtime
On the second day of winter break
my children said to me:
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime.
On the third day of winter break
my children said to me:
3 friends are coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the fourth day of winter break
my children said to me:
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends are coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the fifth day of winter break
my children said to me:
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the sixth day of winter break
my children said to me:
6 excuses for our rooms
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the seventh day of winter break
my children said to me:
7 things we need at the store
6 excuses for our rooms
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the eighth day of winter break
my children said to me:
8 chanukah gifts please
7 things we need at the store
6 excuses for our rooms
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends are coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the ninth day of winter break
my children said to me:
9 balls a bouncing
8 chanukah gifts please
7 things we need at the store
6 excuses for our rooms
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends are coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the tenth day of winter break
my children said to me:
10 Nerf guns blazing
9 balls a bouncing
8 chanukah gifts please
7 things we need at the store
6 excuses for our rooms
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends are coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the eleventh day of winter break
my children said to me:
11 hours of television
10 Nerf guns blazing
9 balls a bouncing
8 chanukah gifts please
7 things we need at the store
6 excuses for our rooms
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
On the twelfth day of winter break
my children said to me:
12 rides around town
11 hours of television
10 Nerf guns blazing
9 balls a bouncing
8 chanukah gifts please
7 things we need from the store
6 excuses for our rooms
5 reasons why we're bored
4 days of nothing good to eat
3 friends coming over
2 chores only, we're on vacation
and we need a later bedtime
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Teenagers
To the Tune of Willie Nelson's Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys
(Inspired by my own teenager)
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
Don't let 'em get tall and think that they're grown
Make 'em stay young and do what they're told
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
They'll never stay home or if they are home
they're wrapped in electronic devices
Teenagers ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold
They'd rather ignore you than talk or go for a walk
They seldom come 'round till they need a ride or are hungry
And each night begins a new day
And if you don't understand them (and who would?)
Just hang on till this phase is over
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
Don't let them get tall and think that they're grown
Make 'em stay young and do what they're told
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
They'll never stay home and when they're at home
they'll be wrapped in electronic devices
Teenagers like sleeping till noon, listening to tunes,
texting a friend, watching shows til the end
They'll shower forever or not at all
They want us to chill, think we're over the hill
Sometimes we don't know how to take them
They've changed but somewhere in there is the child we knew
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
Don't let 'em get tall and think that they're grown
Make 'em stay young and do what they're told
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
They'll never stay home or if they are home
they're wrapped in electronic devices
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
(Inspired by my own teenager)
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
Don't let 'em get tall and think that they're grown
Make 'em stay young and do what they're told
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
They'll never stay home or if they are home
they're wrapped in electronic devices
Teenagers ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold
They'd rather ignore you than talk or go for a walk
They seldom come 'round till they need a ride or are hungry
And each night begins a new day
And if you don't understand them (and who would?)
Just hang on till this phase is over
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
Don't let them get tall and think that they're grown
Make 'em stay young and do what they're told
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
They'll never stay home and when they're at home
they'll be wrapped in electronic devices
Teenagers like sleeping till noon, listening to tunes,
texting a friend, watching shows til the end
They'll shower forever or not at all
They want us to chill, think we're over the hill
Sometimes we don't know how to take them
They've changed but somewhere in there is the child we knew
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
Don't let 'em get tall and think that they're grown
Make 'em stay young and do what they're told
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
They'll never stay home or if they are home
they're wrapped in electronic devices
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be teenagers
Friday, December 16, 2011
Commotion in the Back Seat of the Car
Since Secret Service is legally able to ride in the front seat of the car, when I'm performing my motherly chauffeur duties, the boys sit in different rows. However, when the four of us climb into the car, the boys "share" the backseat. And by "share," I mean they are assigned to sit there, next to each other. It sounds simple, but it hasn't been going well.
Secret Service likes to cart a heavy, full-to-the brim backpack to and from school each day. He doesn't remove it from the car so I'm not sure why he carries it, maybe just as a status symbol. Wouldn't you think if you carried that around, there would be a reason, like you've got homework of some sort that you are going to complete? Or, maybe you've got a book in there that you are assigned to read. Or, maybe you have some notes in a notebook to review? Anyway, in the car, Secret likes to place this backpack next to him on the seat, in the spot closest to the window. With Sport in one window seat and the backpack in the other coveted window seat, Secret is squished into the non-existent middle seat. With Secret and Sport so close to each other, it is easy for them to constantly touch each other, yell at each other for touching each other, scream, then laugh hysterically.
Even when we remove the giant backpack (which still seldom makes it into the house but instead sits forlornly in the garage) and mandate that each boy take a seat by a window, leaving the space between them empty, a neutral zone of sorts, there is bickering, fighting, taunting, teasing.
Recently a new aspect of the ride was added when they started to sing together. Make no mistake, there is no harmony, these aren't the Hanson Brother's. Instead, they happily belt out tunes with inappropriate lyrics and then laugh maniacally when the adults object.
What consequence can you enforce while driving? You can pull the car over and refuse to drive or you can threaten them with some loss of privilege that will occur when you get home. Neither seems to impact them in the moment. The only time I had a victory was when they were younger and sharing the back seat. They were squabbling, slapping each other, laughing, shrieking, clearly enjoying themselves. My nerves were frayed and jangled from the racket. We were close to a grocery store. Trying to ignore them, I started to think about a few items I needed to pick up - milk, bread, etc. The boys loathe running any household errands. I had an idea. With the store within sight, I said to them, "If I hear one more word, I am pulling over to that grocery store and we are all going in to shop." Complete silence. Quiet all the way home. Not a peep.
I need to find more grocery stores.
Secret Service likes to cart a heavy, full-to-the brim backpack to and from school each day. He doesn't remove it from the car so I'm not sure why he carries it, maybe just as a status symbol. Wouldn't you think if you carried that around, there would be a reason, like you've got homework of some sort that you are going to complete? Or, maybe you've got a book in there that you are assigned to read. Or, maybe you have some notes in a notebook to review? Anyway, in the car, Secret likes to place this backpack next to him on the seat, in the spot closest to the window. With Sport in one window seat and the backpack in the other coveted window seat, Secret is squished into the non-existent middle seat. With Secret and Sport so close to each other, it is easy for them to constantly touch each other, yell at each other for touching each other, scream, then laugh hysterically.
Even when we remove the giant backpack (which still seldom makes it into the house but instead sits forlornly in the garage) and mandate that each boy take a seat by a window, leaving the space between them empty, a neutral zone of sorts, there is bickering, fighting, taunting, teasing.
Recently a new aspect of the ride was added when they started to sing together. Make no mistake, there is no harmony, these aren't the Hanson Brother's. Instead, they happily belt out tunes with inappropriate lyrics and then laugh maniacally when the adults object.
What consequence can you enforce while driving? You can pull the car over and refuse to drive or you can threaten them with some loss of privilege that will occur when you get home. Neither seems to impact them in the moment. The only time I had a victory was when they were younger and sharing the back seat. They were squabbling, slapping each other, laughing, shrieking, clearly enjoying themselves. My nerves were frayed and jangled from the racket. We were close to a grocery store. Trying to ignore them, I started to think about a few items I needed to pick up - milk, bread, etc. The boys loathe running any household errands. I had an idea. With the store within sight, I said to them, "If I hear one more word, I am pulling over to that grocery store and we are all going in to shop." Complete silence. Quiet all the way home. Not a peep.
I need to find more grocery stores.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Time or Money?
I've had times when I am busy professionally, and the upside is that the money is there, but the downside is that I'm stressed, rushed, exhausted, feeling like I'm shortchanging my kids by being so busy and pre-occupied with work. After days, weeks, months of that type of schedule, the bank account is full but inside I'm on empty. I don't feel I am providing the kids with the all-important "quality time" we hear so much about and don't feel like I'm even fun to be around. Currently, I've chosen to work part-time so I've been able to take the kids to school, pick them up, be at home more. Most of the time, that feels like a better balance. I've got more time at home but lately I've wondered if I'm using this time wisely. Just like money can be wasted, so can time.
My kids are getting ready to start their Winter Break and we'll be spending a lot of time together each day. Without effort or planning, I'm afraid the time will just slip away, with nothing accomplished and no special memories created. To prepare, I asked each of them to give me some ideas for how they'd like to spend the time.
Secret Service would like to fly to another city to visit old friends, stay in a hotel, eat in restaurants, swim, shop, go to movies. Sport wants to ice skate at outdoor rinks, play at places where you pay to jump or participate in challenges, have a movie marathon where we watch all the Harry Potter movies. Both would like to have sleep-overs with friends.
I thought it was odd that neither child mentioned an interest in doing any home improvement projects, cleaning out closets, cooking or baking. I see I'm on my own if I want to tackle any of these. My first and foremost goal of every vacation is the desire to sleep in later. Once that is accomplished, I'm open for anything. Let the break begin.
My kids are getting ready to start their Winter Break and we'll be spending a lot of time together each day. Without effort or planning, I'm afraid the time will just slip away, with nothing accomplished and no special memories created. To prepare, I asked each of them to give me some ideas for how they'd like to spend the time.
Secret Service would like to fly to another city to visit old friends, stay in a hotel, eat in restaurants, swim, shop, go to movies. Sport wants to ice skate at outdoor rinks, play at places where you pay to jump or participate in challenges, have a movie marathon where we watch all the Harry Potter movies. Both would like to have sleep-overs with friends.
I thought it was odd that neither child mentioned an interest in doing any home improvement projects, cleaning out closets, cooking or baking. I see I'm on my own if I want to tackle any of these. My first and foremost goal of every vacation is the desire to sleep in later. Once that is accomplished, I'm open for anything. Let the break begin.
Holiday Wish Lists
With the holidays approaching, every day brings new catalogues in the mail. I've handed them to the boys, asking them to give me ideas about what they'd like to receive as gifts. Here's what I've gotten so far -
Secret Service is requesting a soda making machine. Secret Service needs a soda making machine like I need to have a Krispy Kreme donut shop operating from my living room. Secret has a wicked soda addiction. I'm convinced Secret wakes up in the morning thinking about where and when to snag a Pepsi. Secret would rather drink soda than eat a meal and we have reason to suspect that uses his lunch money to buy soda instead of food. When soda is served at someones home, Secret parks himself at the counter like a drunk at a bar. So, no, sadly, Secret will not be getting a soda making machine.
Another item on Secrets' list is an air soft gun. Secret already owns one of these and it has been confiscated for months because he misused it. I will spare you the details, no one was injured, but Secret did not prove he could handle this weapon and it is semi-permanently removed from his possession. Why would we get him another one?
Secret would like a winter jacket that costs over $100. He showed me a picture of it. It is lovely. However, I don't understand why he needs this as he has refused to wear his current brand new (over $100) jacket, (that he selected) and on the one day I forced him to wear it to school, he supposedly left it in his locker and we haven't seen it since.
Sport has looked through the catalogues and has consistently circled the same items each time. However, there are some problems here, too. Sport wants a Nerf gun. I was in the basement this morning and counted 11 Nerf guns. I mentioned this to Sport. He said they aren't all his, some of these belong to Secret. He said the new Nerf guns are better than the ones he has. I think not.
Sport has also requested a battery powered helicopter that flies. The trouble is that Sport got one of these last year, played with it for 25 minutes the day he got it, 10 minutes the next day and then never again.
I told Sport to look through the catalogues and find something that he doesn't already have. That's when he came up with the request for a candy machine, the kind that gives you candy when you put your hand under it. Why doesn't this sound like a good idea?
I told both boys that they need to generate more ideas. Secret has asked for a full-size tempurpedic mattress. I said I heard that they are expensive. Secret said it wasn't too bad, he noted that the mattress is $1399.00! I asked if it can be a foam mattress that is a different brand, but Secret said he needs that particular brand. I don't think we can swing that at this time.
If the boys can't come up with ideas for gifts that they don't already have, are safe and healthy, and affordable, I'm going to just buy them clothes. In the past, they wept when they received clothes for a gift but I'm running out of ideas.
Secret Service is requesting a soda making machine. Secret Service needs a soda making machine like I need to have a Krispy Kreme donut shop operating from my living room. Secret has a wicked soda addiction. I'm convinced Secret wakes up in the morning thinking about where and when to snag a Pepsi. Secret would rather drink soda than eat a meal and we have reason to suspect that uses his lunch money to buy soda instead of food. When soda is served at someones home, Secret parks himself at the counter like a drunk at a bar. So, no, sadly, Secret will not be getting a soda making machine.
Another item on Secrets' list is an air soft gun. Secret already owns one of these and it has been confiscated for months because he misused it. I will spare you the details, no one was injured, but Secret did not prove he could handle this weapon and it is semi-permanently removed from his possession. Why would we get him another one?
Secret would like a winter jacket that costs over $100. He showed me a picture of it. It is lovely. However, I don't understand why he needs this as he has refused to wear his current brand new (over $100) jacket, (that he selected) and on the one day I forced him to wear it to school, he supposedly left it in his locker and we haven't seen it since.
Sport has looked through the catalogues and has consistently circled the same items each time. However, there are some problems here, too. Sport wants a Nerf gun. I was in the basement this morning and counted 11 Nerf guns. I mentioned this to Sport. He said they aren't all his, some of these belong to Secret. He said the new Nerf guns are better than the ones he has. I think not.
Sport has also requested a battery powered helicopter that flies. The trouble is that Sport got one of these last year, played with it for 25 minutes the day he got it, 10 minutes the next day and then never again.
I told Sport to look through the catalogues and find something that he doesn't already have. That's when he came up with the request for a candy machine, the kind that gives you candy when you put your hand under it. Why doesn't this sound like a good idea?
I told both boys that they need to generate more ideas. Secret has asked for a full-size tempurpedic mattress. I said I heard that they are expensive. Secret said it wasn't too bad, he noted that the mattress is $1399.00! I asked if it can be a foam mattress that is a different brand, but Secret said he needs that particular brand. I don't think we can swing that at this time.
If the boys can't come up with ideas for gifts that they don't already have, are safe and healthy, and affordable, I'm going to just buy them clothes. In the past, they wept when they received clothes for a gift but I'm running out of ideas.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Thanksgiving Blessings
As the holiday of Thanksgiving comes and goes, in addition to planning who will make the sweet potatoes, we should reflect on what we have and do so with a spirit of gratitude. With that in mind, here are a few things for which I am grateful.
I'm grateful that even though my kids complain when I experiment with a new recipe, and even if they don't like what I serve for dinner, we have food to put on our table. After school wasn't canceled during the last snow storm, Secret Service said he heard that the school system was relutant to cancel because for children who are eligible for free or reduced priced breakfast and lunch, canceling school could mean a day of going hungry. It was hard to hear that there are children who might not get food if they weren't at school. Secret and I looked at each other sadly.
Lately, someone (I suspect Sport) has been leaving their dirty socks in the living room and as much as I haven't enjoyed that, I am grateful that although none of us clean or organize the house as much as I'd like, we have a house to live in, a place to call home.
I am grateful that Science Girl and I each have reliable transportation. (I may not value this as much next year - Secret Service claims that he can get his drivers permit in June and he's started eying the cars in a way that makes me nervous.)
I'm grateful that if I ever had a day where I could sleep past 7:30 AM (and if I could stay asleep), Secret Service sleeps in and Sport is old enough and independent enough that when he wakes, he quietly watch TV shows, even if they are shows that I would like to prohibit.
I'm grateful that we have family and friends with whom to share our lives. I expecially enjoy meeting and getting to know the kids who Secret and Sport choose as friends and feel glad that my kids do such a good job picking friends.
And last but certainly not the least, I'm grateful that our family is healthy. I don't want to ever take that for granted.
I'm grateful that even though my kids complain when I experiment with a new recipe, and even if they don't like what I serve for dinner, we have food to put on our table. After school wasn't canceled during the last snow storm, Secret Service said he heard that the school system was relutant to cancel because for children who are eligible for free or reduced priced breakfast and lunch, canceling school could mean a day of going hungry. It was hard to hear that there are children who might not get food if they weren't at school. Secret and I looked at each other sadly.
Lately, someone (I suspect Sport) has been leaving their dirty socks in the living room and as much as I haven't enjoyed that, I am grateful that although none of us clean or organize the house as much as I'd like, we have a house to live in, a place to call home.
I am grateful that Science Girl and I each have reliable transportation. (I may not value this as much next year - Secret Service claims that he can get his drivers permit in June and he's started eying the cars in a way that makes me nervous.)
I'm grateful that if I ever had a day where I could sleep past 7:30 AM (and if I could stay asleep), Secret Service sleeps in and Sport is old enough and independent enough that when he wakes, he quietly watch TV shows, even if they are shows that I would like to prohibit.
I'm grateful that we have family and friends with whom to share our lives. I expecially enjoy meeting and getting to know the kids who Secret and Sport choose as friends and feel glad that my kids do such a good job picking friends.
And last but certainly not the least, I'm grateful that our family is healthy. I don't want to ever take that for granted.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Stay where I can see you
When the boys got old enough to walk independently, they immediately set out to investigate their world, which meant crawling, walking, running, hop, skip and jumping away from wherever I was. Initially, I tried to stop them, to keep them in my arms or in a stroller. When that proved impossible, I started to say, "Stay where I can see you." They came to understood that they didn't have to stand right next to me if they stayed nearby.
I said those words for years, they were my mantra, part of my everyday routine with the boys, like "brush your teeth" or "get ready for bed." But now, through no fault of their own, those words don't fit anymore, the boys have grown out of them like so many of their baby onesies and toddler overalls.
Yesterday Science Girl and I both had commitments that kept us from being able to pick up the boys from their respective schools. For the first time ever, Secret Service independently took the city bus and then walked home from the bus stop. Sport took a school bus, which he has done before. I had the boys each contact me when they'd reached the house. I was proud of them for their independence and relieved that I could trust them to get home on their own.
But, sad, too. The boys are at ages where they are more often out of my sight. Secret Service in particular is more and more out of my sight. Recently, he and a friend went to a shopping mall and movie together, with no grown-up accompaniment. Also, no grown ups were present when he and his friends went to watch the high school soccer team compete in a tournament.
What I've decided is that developmental milestones are more challenging for the parents than the kids. Secret seems happy to be let out of the house on his own recognizance. Sport is thrilled to be given the opportunity to get home from school on his own. It's just Mommy who feels a bit of confusion and loss. I can't always glance up and see my boys. Lately, they are not always where I can see them.
I said those words for years, they were my mantra, part of my everyday routine with the boys, like "brush your teeth" or "get ready for bed." But now, through no fault of their own, those words don't fit anymore, the boys have grown out of them like so many of their baby onesies and toddler overalls.
Yesterday Science Girl and I both had commitments that kept us from being able to pick up the boys from their respective schools. For the first time ever, Secret Service independently took the city bus and then walked home from the bus stop. Sport took a school bus, which he has done before. I had the boys each contact me when they'd reached the house. I was proud of them for their independence and relieved that I could trust them to get home on their own.
But, sad, too. The boys are at ages where they are more often out of my sight. Secret Service in particular is more and more out of my sight. Recently, he and a friend went to a shopping mall and movie together, with no grown-up accompaniment. Also, no grown ups were present when he and his friends went to watch the high school soccer team compete in a tournament.
What I've decided is that developmental milestones are more challenging for the parents than the kids. Secret seems happy to be let out of the house on his own recognizance. Sport is thrilled to be given the opportunity to get home from school on his own. It's just Mommy who feels a bit of confusion and loss. I can't always glance up and see my boys. Lately, they are not always where I can see them.
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