Commotion in the Back Seat of the Car

Since Secret Service is legally able to ride in the front seat of the car, when I'm performing my motherly chauffeur duties, the boys sit in different rows. However, when the four of us climb into the car, the boys "share" the backseat. And by "share," I mean they are assigned to sit there, next to each other. It sounds simple, but it hasn't been going well.

Secret Service likes to cart a heavy, full-to-the brim backpack to and from school each day. He doesn't remove it from the car so I'm not sure why he carries it, maybe just as a status symbol. Wouldn't you think if you carried that around, there would be a reason, like you've got homework of some sort that you are going to complete? Or, maybe you've got a book in there that you are assigned to read. Or, maybe you have some notes in a notebook to review? Anyway, in the car, Secret likes to place this backpack next to him on the seat, in the spot closest to the window. With Sport in one window seat and the backpack in the other coveted window seat, Secret is squished into the non-existent middle seat. With Secret and Sport so close to each other, it is easy for them to constantly touch each other, yell at each other for touching each other, scream, then laugh hysterically.

Even when we remove the giant backpack (which still seldom makes it into the house but instead sits forlornly in the garage) and mandate that each boy take a seat by a window, leaving the space between them empty, a neutral zone of sorts, there is bickering, fighting, taunting, teasing.

Recently a new aspect of the ride was added when they started to sing together. Make no mistake, there is no harmony, these aren't the Hanson Brother's. Instead, they happily belt out tunes with inappropriate lyrics and then laugh maniacally when the adults object.

What consequence can you enforce while driving? You can pull the car over and refuse to drive or you can threaten them with some loss of privilege that will occur when you get home. Neither seems to impact them in the moment. The only time I had a victory was when they were younger and sharing the back seat. They were squabbling, slapping each other, laughing, shrieking, clearly enjoying themselves. My nerves were frayed and jangled from the racket. We were close to a grocery store. Trying to ignore them, I started to think about a few items I needed to pick up - milk, bread, etc. The boys loathe running any household errands. I had an idea. With the store within sight, I said to them, "If I hear one more word, I am pulling over to that grocery store and we are all going in to shop." Complete silence. Quiet all the way home. Not a peep.

I need to find more grocery stores.