Letting Go

Sport is the kind of child who is rarely afraid of anything and as his mother, that makes me afraid for him. He is also a child who has a spiffy new bike and attends an elementary school that encourages students to walk or ride their bikes to school each day. Sport, now in 5th grade, has launched a vigorous campaign to be one of those students. On the face of it, it sounds like a good deal, exercise and independence. He has a buddy who already has permission to ride his bike to school and that child's mom explained to me that she has extensively reviewed the safest route for the boys to take and expectations about being safe in traffic. I get that but the part of me that is a Social Worker and has listened to many stories of bad things happening to innocent children, leads me to want to give the bad guys of the world less opportunity to be near my child. Meanwhile, Sport isn't having any of it. He saw kids his own age and younger ride their bikes to the day camp this summer and pushed relentlessly to be able to do so. Our compromise was that he could ride his bike but I would follow him in the car.

Recently, when I lamented to two friends about Sports' insistence to bike to school, they (separately) said, "Don't you want him to be independent? It got me thinking. While I don't want my boys living in our basement in their adulthood, I don't feel any urgency to have them become independent now.

The Internet said the preteen years are an important time for children to begin developing responsible behavior. In a study found on the Internet, it said Generation O youngsters (O is for optimistic and opportunistic) are growing up younger. Enfranchised by information technology, they are more independent and sophisticated than their predecessors and more confident about what they can achieve. I don't know if Sport is considered part of Generation O, but that description fits him. He cheerfully and enthusiastically insists on his independence.

Sport and I have come to a new compromise. He can join his buddy to ride to and from school two days a week. Sport is thrilled but I am still filled with great trepidation. In the morning, I stand at the house and watch them go. I don't get in the car to follow them.