Household Chores

When we moved into our current home, four years ago, I saw an opportunity to have my boys be more active in working with us to maintain cleanliness. I had lofty long-term goals. As a liberated woman raising boys, I wanted to prepare them to be the kind of men who understand and appreciate being in an equal partnership with a spouse. And, also true but more practical, we didn’t have a maid and I hate housework.

Why do children only want to help you when they are incompetent? Secret Service was very helpful at age 2. He spent long periods of time standing on a chair at the kitchen sink, the water running (look – I know running the water was wasteful, but there were days when I could find no other way to appease him), “washing” Tupperware. Now, when I’d like him to wash dishes, he will not, cannot, bear the thought of touching dishes that had food on them.

Seeking a chore that he could execute, I tried to get Secret Service to help me fold laundry. Although he can make an intricate paper airplane, he cannot fold a towel in half. Eventually, through a tedious process of trial and error, Secret Service showed aptitude in vacuuming. (Sidebar confession -When Sport was 2 years old, a teacher showed him picture cards and asked that he identify the object on each card. I held my breath when the picture on the card showed a vacuum as I was sure Sport had never seen me push one of those, and I felt terrible that Sport would appear less bright due to his mother’s poor housekeeping. Luckily, Sport had been an avid viewer of enough TV that he recognized the contraption from the Teletubby show and was victorious in correctly answering the question.) Anyway, although Secret Service consents to vacuuming, being a clever fellow, he holds to the rule touted in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie when Rodrick, the oldest brother tells Greg, (paraphrased here) - “Don’t be good at anything you don’t like to do.” When Secret vacuums, he (I believe purposefully) periodically hits the vacuum against the furniture and even after being directed hundreds of times to move the ottoman out of the way, “forgets” to do so.

Sport was also extremely helpful when he was 2 years old but he’s more willing to help now, too. Sport wants to learn chores that seem to have an element of danger. Recently, with exuberance, he asked to be taught how to iron. I don’t see that as a good choice for Sport. Over time, Sports’ favorite chore has been to clean the bathrooms. He likes squirting products, enjoys using a toilet brush, doesn’t mind working up a sweat. A few years ago, as we were praising him lavishly, we realized we may have over-emphasized his proficiency when Sport announced that he thought he’d like to clean toilets for a living. I know being a janitor is honorable work but we were aiming a little higher for Sport.

When I've clarified the necessity of being prepared for adulthood, the boys have reassured me by explaining that when they are grown up, they will be rich and they will be hiring a housekeeper. I hope they'll pay for one for me, too.